Showing posts with label Jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jokes. Show all posts

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Height of Surprise!!

Height of Surprise:
,
,
A boy after spending great time with his Girlfriend,
Saw a guy’s photo in her bag
Asked – Is he your Ex BF?
.
.
.
.
GF kissed him said "No dear, thats me before the surgery." :O :D

How to make money through Facebook…?? :)

Wanna make money through Facebook…??
Go to:
Account->
account settings->
and click on
De-activate your Account
than
Start Working…!! Lolz :)
No hard feelings!! :)

Thursday, November 17, 2011

PAPPU Jokes


TEACHER : What is the chemical formula for water?
PAPPU : "HIJKLMNO! "!!
TEACHER : What are you talking about?
PAPPU : Yesterday you said it's H to O !
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TEACHER : PAPPU, go to the map and find North America.
PAPPU : Here it is!
TEACHER : Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS : PAPPU!
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TEACHER : PAPPU, how do you spell "crocodile"?
PAPPU : "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER : No, that's wrong
PAPPU : Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
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TEACHER : PAPPU, give me a sentence starting with "I".
PAPPU : I is...
TEACHER : No, PAPPU. Always say, "I am."
PAPPU : All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
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TEACHER : "Can anybody give an example of "COINCIDENCE?"
PAPPU : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time."
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Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Ultimate logic of Santa Banta:

Ultimate logic of Santa Banta:
What is the opposite of 'Aachaar'?
Santa: Onion.
Banta: How?

Monday, May 16, 2011

Funny Jokes Collection

Examiner:What is Microsoft Excel student:It is a new brand of Surf Excel to clean the computer.
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What a woman wants is what you are out of. She wants more of a thing when it is scarce.
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Appu: I want you to explain why I have to wear these same old clothes. Pappu: Bcoz if u don`t, you could scare the dog.
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Banta: What is the best way to see flying saucers? Santa: Pinch the waitress.
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Appu: Do you know that it is not fall that kills you, it is the sudden stop at the end.
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Pappu: When is it unlucky to see a black cat? . . . . . . . Appu: When you are a mouse.
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Bunny (to receptionist of hotel): Can you give me a room and a bath? Receptionist: I can gve u a room, but u vl hav 2 hav bath urself.
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Whats d difference between ppl who pray in Temples and ppl who pray in Exam Centres? Those in d exam centres r damn serious.
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All of our politicians play KBC in reverse manner. They make crores and crores first and then answer the questions later.

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Appu: I have been trying to think of a word for two weeks. Pappu: Its a fortnight.
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Wife: Can u explain 2 me how dis lipstick got on ur collar? Husband: No,I really cant.I distinctly remembrd havng taken my shirt off.

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Lady: When you are finished with me, will my husband think I am beautiful? Beautician: May be, does he still drink a lot?
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Pappu: The planes are so fast these days that there is no time to get acquainted with the air hostess.

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Preeto: I won't marry you, and you know why? Jeetho: No, I can't think. Preeto: That's why.

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Father: When I was a young man, girls knew how to blush. Son: What did you say to them?

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A sign in a cafe: All drinking water in this cafe has been passed by the management.

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Pappu: Doctor: I am having trouble with my breathing. Doctor: I will give you something that will soon stop that.
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Preeto: Were you excited the first time you asked your husband for money? Jeeto: Oh, I was calm and collected.
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Appu: Would you consider going out with a man like me? Pappu: Yes, so long as he is not too much like you.

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Insurance policy is an old man's passport to young women.

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English Insult SMS

One day a monkey looked into mirror & said, "Oh my ugly face, fat nose" and killed himself. Promise me u will not look into mirror, coz I dont wanna loose you!
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 Where r u? U r u not replying? I m worried coz todays paper I read that due 2 thunder a monkey has been severely injured. So if u r safe, SMS me immediately.
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You=lovely
You=perfect
You=beautiful
You=amazing
You=sweet
You=cute
You=genius
You=fantastic
You=fabulous
Me=liar
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------
 Forest king Virappan died last week. In his memory let us all switch off our mobiles for 2 mins. Plz forward this to all local criminals, as I did.
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U r Ultimate
U r Lovely
U r Likable
U r Unique
In short ......
U r ULLU !!!  -------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lost in a zoo I saw many animals..
Mouse
BIRD
Monkey
haila...! U 2 
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Two devils came in 2 my dreams. They said-We want 2 disturb some good person. I suggest them ur name. They said -We cannot disturb our boss.
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 Have u seen a monkey wrapped in plastic?
No???
Quickly see your driving license.
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Taste dis SMS
Did u feel da taste of ginger?
No?
Sure?
Well.....
BANDAR KYA JAANE ADRAK KA SWAAD!!
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 I saw U on ROAD today. U were lukin SO fine, Ur face SO divine, Ur walk SO perfect. My HEART started singing a Sweet Song: WHO LET THE DOGS OUT!
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Your network tariff has changed! Call charges are now calculated according to brain size. The smaller the cheaper! Congrats You can make free calls!
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Press Down if u think u r MAD.
I can't Believe u Did That!
Again?
For God Sake! LORD!!
Why u Still Doing it?
Truth is out now!
MENTAL CASE!!