English Insult SMS

One day a monkey looked into mirror & said, "Oh my ugly face, fat nose" and killed himself. Promise me u will not look into mirror, coz I dont wanna loose you!
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 Where r u? U r u not replying? I m worried coz todays paper I read that due 2 thunder a monkey has been severely injured. So if u r safe, SMS me immediately.
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You=lovely
You=perfect
You=beautiful
You=amazing
You=sweet
You=cute
You=genius
You=fantastic
You=fabulous
Me=liar
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 Forest king Virappan died last week. In his memory let us all switch off our mobiles for 2 mins. Plz forward this to all local criminals, as I did.
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U r Ultimate
U r Lovely
U r Likable
U r Unique
In short ......
U r ULLU !!!  -------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lost in a zoo I saw many animals..
Mouse
BIRD
Monkey
haila...! U 2 
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Two devils came in 2 my dreams. They said-We want 2 disturb some good person. I suggest them ur name. They said -We cannot disturb our boss.
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 Have u seen a monkey wrapped in plastic?
No???
Quickly see your driving license.
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Taste dis SMS
Did u feel da taste of ginger?
No?
Sure?
Well.....
BANDAR KYA JAANE ADRAK KA SWAAD!!
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 I saw U on ROAD today. U were lukin SO fine, Ur face SO divine, Ur walk SO perfect. My HEART started singing a Sweet Song: WHO LET THE DOGS OUT!
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Your network tariff has changed! Call charges are now calculated according to brain size. The smaller the cheaper! Congrats You can make free calls!
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Press Down if u think u r MAD.
I can't Believe u Did That!
Again?
For God Sake! LORD!!
Why u Still Doing it?
Truth is out now!
MENTAL CASE!!